The Value Hypothesis

Here’s something that may appear so obvious as to be disregarded or overlooked, and yet the realization of which is incredibly profound and impactful: It’s essential for us to recognize our own values and their prioritization in our day-to-day.

First, what is meant by “values” in this context? Quite simply, it’s one’s judgement of what is important in life. It’s critical to acknowledge the individual nature of this judgement; it’s for each of us to recognize and realize for ourselves. The substantial risk of not appreciating the uniqueness of our own values is that we so easily fall prey to the collective societal/cultural values pressed upon us in a deluge of inputs. And, likely, what we take on board from these pressures and un(meta)consciously live by will be different, depending on our own particular conditioning. It’s the blind acceptance of collective values that seriously jeopardizes—and often precludes—our own flourishing and contentment.

One straightforward interpretation of collective values would be as follows: money, comfort, security, status, possessions, appearance. Others may extract different/additional values from their unique conditioning, but I’d suggest the list above to be fairly representative of what rises to the surface of societal importance.

Left unexamined, these values compel paths through life that are not only misaligned, but in fact antithetical to our own. We therefore find ourselves chasing after false goals, prioritizing our time and attention on empty pursuits, and finding ourselves wondering why ‘success’, as defined for us, leaves us with existential angst and a sense of purposelessness (although we may not even be able to define that angst for ourselves because we’ve been so blindly following what we should do).

Fortunately, it’s only a glimpse of this recognition that’s needed to fundamentally alter the path; to set up the journey such that it’s aligned with our own deeper values. The seed of discontent (or perhaps it’s grown into a full tree or forest) is the nucleus of skillful change.

How then do we discover what is uniquely important to us? The answer lies partly in the word “discover”; it is a process of discovery, of revealing what’s already there. There’s nothing to go out to find or attain; rather, it’s through letting go of accumulated conditioning that’s been backseat driving for too long. It’s in removal of these layers that we can begin to allow our deeper values to rise to the surface. They’re always there, quietly fueling the underlying dissatisfaction we feel when the volume is turned up on our conditioned thought and action. We need to re-mix the levels such that our own individual ‘music’ can be heard above the collective ‘noise’. This adjustment happens through quieting the mind; getting still and silent … meditation.

Before recoiling from the pop-culture status of meditation/mindfulness as the ‘self-help’ modality de rigueur, promising stress-reduction and productivity gains, we need to return to the origin of the word.

The term “meditation” was introduced as a translation for Eastern spiritual practices, referred to as dhyana in Hinduism and Buddhism, and which comes from the Sanskrit root dhyai, a preferred translation of which (there are many) is “familiarization”. Getting familiar, becoming directly acquainted, with the mind. Nothing special. (An interesting brief aside: dhyana was brought from India into China as Ch’an, and then into Japan as Zen.)

We’ll save the foundations of meditation practice for another time. Suffice to say, it’s through this process of familiarization that we begin to know more and more who we are; not conceptually, but at a deeper level that’s been shrouded by a variety of inputs. We begin to develop a clearer picture of what, for ourselves, is central to a life well lived.

In combination with meditation, it’s worthwhile to develop a consistent writing practice. Writing, as a meta-cognitive activity, allows for reflection on our own thoughts, feelings, emotions. Noting insights, learnings, challenges, allows for new ways of seeing to be revealed to ourselves. Patterns emerge, previously hidden to our own awareness. It’s a mechanism through which we can amplify and solidify realization happening on and off the cushion (i.e., in sitting/meditation and out in the ‘marketplace’). What is truly important—our own unique values—naturally float to the surface and become undeniable.

Consistent and sincere practice fundamentally changes the way we see life, and so what we do with our life begins to shift. It’s quite common for life to become considerably simplified; not because of newfound virtue, but because, as we get clear on our values, we find we need less and desires recede.

However, there’s an element herein of “be careful what you wish for” because it’s not all blissful simplicity. If we’ve forged a path at odds with our values, it’s possible that a path of destruction will ensue. We may need to tear down a ‘rickety palace’ to rebuild a simple dwelling with the solid foundation of our values. This could appear as the end of relationships, walking away from a long-term career; eschewing comfort and security for the unknown. The reality is, the more we know who we are, it’s inevitable that we begin to travel a path that appears to others as particularly odd, difficult, and incredibly impractical. It’s easy for others to value the ‘palace’ that was built according to their conditioned values, and difficult for them to understand why you’d ever want to knock it down.

But this is the individualistic nature of our values—nobody can judge whether our own values are right or wrong, or better or worse; only we can know whether we’re living in accord with them. If not, it appears to be a universal truth that life will continue to present us with problems that lack purpose and greater meaning until actions/decisions are congruent with who we are more essentially.

While we’ll surely pick up some practical challenges along the way, an inevitable outcome is that we start to trade-in our existential angst that rides along with misalignment, for a deeper contentment and joy, and a sense that our time, attention, and energy are orienting us in the direction of flourishing, with each step of the journey being the point in itself. Always beginning and already arrived.